final tallies

number of heartbeats
number of breaths
highest elevation reached
lowed depth visited
number of sexual partners experienced
number of orgasms achieved
years of formal education completed
number of footsteps taken
total distance traveled on foot
total distance ridden
longest soliloquy spoken
sharpest retort
dullest conversation held
first moment of heroism
last person disappointed
happiest year
saddest day
number of eyeblinks
number of finger snaps
number of high fives left hanging
earliest morning phone call
latest lingering phone call
last regret
first mistake
most concurrently active friendships
loneliest week in a summer
total infants held and rocked
closest distance to the moon reached
furthest from shore ever swam
total taxes paid
total tips received
kindest guardian angel encountered
mortal enemies forgiven or forgotten
number of kisses desired but not dared
clearest remembered second of life